day 17: fall back in time

tonight i racked the very depths of my brain, tried every password-username combination i could think of, and finally resorted to google searching strings of text from memory to dig up my old "blog" from highschool. i say "blog" because "blog" wasn't a word 6 years ago.

SIX. six years ago i started that thing.

and, to my surprise, i really haven't changed: i'm still way too obsessed with gilmore girls, despise capital letters, study harder than i probably need to, stress out over everything, love thanksgiving and christmas, and define my life by song lyrics.

a few things have changed for the better: the number of people i consider my "best friends" has dropped to three (and i actually trust them with my life); a 7-page paper is no longer the worst thing ever; and all of my emotions and psychological well-being no longer reside in the hands of someone else.

i kind of miss a little bit of that last point, though... i think know i'd be a lot more careful now. i know that my entire life doesn't need to revolve around someone, and that someone else can't always (and shouldn't be the only thing that can) make everything better.

on a lighter note, i love how some things come full circle (ie. fulfilling a late night, "i'll never admit this outloud" dream 4 years later), and how happy i was about everything. even on my worst days, i wrote it down and felt better.

i want to do that again. i am going to do that again.

i have to say, though, for as fun as it would be to live in those moments forever, i kind of like being able to cook myself dinner, go to bed at 8pm or 8am, accept a job offer and start looking for apartments, and drink wine. legally. at restaurants. with people who don't think these things are stupid and share my penchant for goldeneye =)

yeah, i don't think growing up is so bad at all.

*relax silly boy, i'm an excellent driver